Beginning Again...

Just back from the first of many training runs for my upcoming first marathon in March, I realized a lot of the old "firsts" are coming back to me.

The "Can I really do this?" questions. The funny, self-imposed routines prior to workouts. (Chapstick. Check. Ipod. Check. Planned route. Check. Socks straight. Check. Shoes tied just tight enough...) The "Will this bother me during the race?" obsessions. (I stopped and readjusted my ponytail twice. It was hitting the back of my right ear over and over again.)

Preparing for a race is always an adventure all on its own. The weather is a factor. Health is a factor. Family circumstances are a factor.

All of these factors can fill me with doubt. They can overwhelm me. Whisperings of failure can plague my mind.

It is the promise of reaching a new goal that fuels my body and helps me overcome my reluctance to "go for it." It is the joy of crossing a finish line. It is the process of training my body and subduing my negative inner voices. It is also the inspiration I can be to others who have dreams of their own.

"I can do this" is my new mantra. "I will succeed" is my continual refrain. There will be days I want to skip a workout. There will be circumstances I have to work around to accomplish my goal.

This is always the way training begins for me. It's a mountain before me I fear I can't climb.

However, as I settle into a routine and I accomplish new mini-goals in my training I am filled with a glorious sense of accomplishment. I know I am one step closer to realizing a dream...

Here we go!

I have made a big, terrifying decision. It has loomed on the horizon since December 2011. It began to take shape when my first grader, Eden, came home and said, "School is boring."

I knew Eden's reading had reached a new level last summer when I noticed she was picking up books my (soon to be) third grader was reading. Eden constantly asked me to define words I didn't think most first graders knew... like elevate, assumption, and repetitive. When she started the first grade, I just mentioned to her teacher I would appreciate if she could have her tested so I would know her reading level. I was just curious.

The third day a note was sent home from her teacher. She was currently reading at a 6th grade level.

Her teacher, Ms. Young, did an excellent job of providing Eden with higher level work. She took the 6th grade spelling test and participated in 3rd grade TAG (Talented and Gifted). Eden still seemed to need more from her educational experience. So, after much prayer and investigation into alternatives I made the decision to home school her.

This is a huge step for me. I am quite selfish when it comes to "my time." I enjoy having time to run, volunteer, and putter around the house.

I am also quite fearful of failure.

However, as I preach to my children... "Failure is a great teacher. Learning from our mistakes is key to constant improvement and eventual success!"

So, here we go! I am nervous. Excited. Overwhelmed. And looking forward to experiencing the joys of learning with my daughter. I hope she won't be bored at her new school...