Thursday, January 24, 2013


He tries to tell me how to act but I don't listen.

He denies who I am but they all know.

When he's sure no one is looking he smiles at me. He even asks my opinion. Or says, "I love you."

This morning he wanted a hug.

"Just give me a hug. I need one," he says to me.

After that he'll pour his cereal and demand something from me.

It's a strange and complicated dance. Mother and teenage son.

He only takes my advice if I don't notice. He needs me close if it's on his terms. He figures I have the answers... but he needs to learn it all for himself. He wants me to see him as a man.

He frustrates. He pleases. He triumphs. He fails. Repeating mistakes and learning from others. I wonder at this boy.

"Mama, give me a kiss goodnight."

"I love you, mama. So much."