He tries to tell me how to act but I don't listen.
He denies who I am but they all know.
When he's sure no one is looking he smiles at me. He even asks my opinion. Or says, "I love you."
This morning he wanted a hug.
"Just give me a hug. I need one," he says to me.
After that he'll pour his cereal and demand something from me.
It's a strange and complicated dance. Mother and teenage son.
He only takes my advice if I don't notice. He needs me close if it's on his terms. He figures I have the answers... but he needs to learn it all for himself. He wants me to see him as a man.
He frustrates. He pleases. He triumphs. He fails. Repeating mistakes and learning from others. I wonder at this boy.
"Mama, give me a kiss goodnight."
"I love you, mama. So much."