Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Returning home from our date last Saturday evening, Aunt Martie informed me I needed to have another talk about sex with Lillian. She had asked my sister, "How did you get pregnant?" Martie said she didn't feel prepared to answer her and told her to ask "your mama."

So, I obviously didn't fill Lillian in enough on what sex is when we had the initial "talk" a few months ago. She seemed satisfied with my answer at the time so I stopped before the phrase "penis in the vagina" came into the conversation.

Unlike many other modern moms (who get embarrassed just thinking about "the sex talk"), I have no problem telling my kids about the birds and the bees. In fact, I want my kids to hear about sex from me. (I am an incredibly reliable source. Reliable = disease free, satisfied, and "no regrets".)

I found the perfect time to talk to Lil last Sunday afternoon on our drive over to Oma's house.

Me: "So, Aunt Martie said you had some questions about how she got pregnant with Jemma?"

Lilli: "Yes."

Me: "Remember when we talked about sex a few months ago."

Lilli: "Not really..."

Me: "Well, we've talked about the differences between boys/men/males and girls/women/females before... what are the differences?"

Lilli: "Boys have wieners."

Me: "We don't call them wieners..."

Lilli: "Penises! I know it's called a penis! And girls have a vagina."

Me: "Yes. And inside your body you have something that makes babies..."

Lilli: "Eggs! Oh, I remember this... What do the boys have?"

Me: "Sperm..."

Lilli: "Yes. Inside their balls."

Me: "Yes. Their testicles. (Pause) So, the sperm has to get to the egg. The sperm travels through the penis and goes into the vagina to reach the egg. This is called sex and sex makes a baby."

Lilli: "How does the sperm get into the vagina?"

Me: "The penis fits into the vagina."

Lilli: "How? (Pause) (Thinking face.) Oh... that's when you get naked and wiggle around..." (Pause) (Slight horror on her face beginning to show...) Martie and Ross? Did that?"

Me: "Yes."

Lilli: (More horror on her face...) "You and Daddy?"

Me: "Yes."

Lilli: (Ultimate horror now...) "Grammy and Grandy?!?!? Oh, gross! Nasty! I'm never having a baby! I'm never doing that!"

Me: "Okay. But you will probably want to some day when you fall in love."

We pulled up to Oma's house and I put the car in park.

Lilli: "Do you have sex with your boyfriend?"

Me: "No. Your sex is a gift you give your husband."

Lilli: "Oh. Good."

And, that was that.

Two down. One to go...

~ "I don't care about sex. I just want a pony." -Lillian ~

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