Monday, June 13, 2011

Summertime is...


I have seriously been considering getting back into speech pathology lately. Nothing full time... just enough hours a week to feel like I'm "working." 
My doubts about getting a "real job" are always my children. I will only work during school hours... but, what if one of them gets sick? Or wants me to go on a field trip with them?
In photography, weddings are a great source of income. I dabbled last summer and the feedback from my clients told me I could pursue this genre of photography. When I considered this type of work, I always came back to my children. How many soccer games, recitals, or swim meets would I miss? How many beautiful weekends with my family would I give up for some quick cash? 
I am blessed beyond measure. My husband has a great job and I am able to "stay home" with no worries about money. Could we have more stuff if I worked (for money)? Yes! Could we be more "financially secure?" Possibly. 
I have discussed this feeling of wanting to be employed again with my husband. When I asked D what he thought about me getting a job as a speech pathologist, he really surprised me with his answer. 
He said it was his honor and privilege to be so blessed in his work that his wife could stay home. He told me he loves that I am home to take care of the children and to enjoy the freedom of a few hours each day to reach my fitness goals, read, write, volunteer, and dabble in whatever hobby I am interested in at the moment. 
In that statement, he expressed my value. He didn't see dollar signs. He didn't see meals cooked, clothes washed, and house cleaned. He saw me. He knows what I accomplish during a day. And, he knows what I dream of accomplishing during a lifetime. 
I am so blessed. I am so loved. I am so valued. I am so grateful.
Who knows what I will decide...
I am just taking this summer to enjoy my children... to revel in what summertime is...

And, sometimes... it's pancakes for lunch!




Friday, May 27, 2011

Torah Love

"Love does not do harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fullness of Torah." Romans 13:10 (Complete Jewish Bible)

I have been studying Law (Torah) and how it relates to a Christ-follower's freedom in the Messiah. Because it was/is impossible for humans to follow all the laws contained in the Torah, the sacrifice of an unblemished Lamb was required for redemption. It is in this state of grace, Christ-followers are free to make their own choices. Our love for God is demonstrated in these choices.

"Now before the time for this trusting faithfulness came, we were imprisoned in subjection to the system which results from perverting the Torah into legalism... the Torah functioned as a custodian until the Messiah came, so that we might be declared righteous on the ground of trusting and being faithful... For in union with the Messiah, you are all children of God through this trusting faithfulness..." Galatians 3:23-29 (CJB)

By trusting in God and being in union with the Messiah, we are now free! "What the Messiah has freed us for is freedom!" Galatians 5:1 (CJB) This is not a freedom to do whatever feels good and right to us as human beings. "Do not let that freedom become an excuse for allowing your old nature to have its way. Instead serve one another in love. For the whole of the Torah is summed up in one sentence: "Love your neighbor as yourself..." If you are led by the Spirit, then you are not in subjection to the system that results from perverting Torah into legalism."

The "old nature" has many extremes. It wants to control others by imposing rules no one can follow perfectly! It wants to abuse others for gain or pleasure. It never wants to experience guilt because (in a world view devised by humans) there is no moral absolute. "It is perfectly evident what the old nature does. It expresses itself in sexual immorality, impurity and indecency; involvement with the occult and drugs; in feuding, fighting, becoming jealous and getting angry; in selfish ambition, factionalism, intrigue and envy; in drunkenness, orgies and things like these..." Galatians 5:19-21 (CJB)

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, self-control. Nothing in the Torah stands against such things." Galatians 5:22-23 (CJB)

The "old nature" is what humans struggle against every day. Humans with a biblical world view are aware of this struggle. God has provided us with the tools to live in trusting faithfulness. We have his Word to read and study for answers to all of our questions. We have a direct link to his guidance and help through prayer. We have other Christ-followers to turn to when we need God-inspired advice for a difficult situation. We must use these tools and seek the fruit of the Spirit in every decision. Every "old nature" choice can be forgiven. However, we may have to suffer the consequences of those actions for the rest of our life.

I started with Romans 13:10. I have been thinking of those who are suffering in the loss of their homes, loved ones, and incomes in the aftermath of the tornado destruction in Joplin, Missouri. I heard a piece this morning on NPR about the problem of looting. In a world where there is no moral absolute, looting would be appropriate. Stealing from others appeals to the "old nature." If there is not a law against taking others' possessions, what is wrong with it? In a world with no moral absolute, stealing wouldn't even be in our vocabulary. At this time, "do not steal" (Exodus 20:15) is part of the law of the United States of America. Despite current law, we are witnessing those at the top of their fields and with plenty of resources steal from their neighbors.

Under the law of Christ, we are under the law of love. "Love does not do harm to a neighbor" is the moral absolute in the biblical world view. Looters harm their neighbors by taking others' possessions. We witness daily instances of humans disregarding law. Prisons are full of humans who disregard law. We also know many (including ourselves) who disregard "love" as the "fullness of Torah." Why? Why do we turn back to the "old nature" with all of its trouble?

"Do not let yourselves be conformed to the standards of the 'olam hazeh (the present age/world). Instead, keep letting yourselves be transformed by the renewing of your minds; so that you will know what God wants and will agree that what he wants is good, satisfying, and able to succeed... Don't let love be a mere outward show. Recoil from what is evil, and cling to what is good." Romans 12:2-9 (CJB)

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday Night

It's 8 pm.

We had a little dinner on the patio at the local Mexican restaurant, visited with Papa and Oma for a few minutes and got two dozen organic eggs for pancakes in the morning, and now I've settled in with my book. Typical. Friday. Night.

Asher is at Space Camp with his 5th grade class. The girls are playing with their Barbie dolls in the bath. D's asleep on the big chair in the living room. So, I'm left to ponder...

Every period of my life as a mama is so long yet so fleeting... I will be dealing with teenage drama before I turn around so I should bask for a moment longer in the sunlight of simplicity. Bask in the glow of perplexing monotony.

I observed the parents with their new babies and huge diaper bags and realized this is my past. I noticed a father meeting his twenty-something daughter for a margarita, queso and chips, and a recap of the week's events and realized this is my future.

I feel in limbo at every period of my life. I enjoy it. I take it in. I learn. I adapt. I wonder. And, just as I figure it out... it morphs into something new.

It fascinates. Keeps me in constant motion. Pondering. Transforming.

Mesmerizing motherhood. How else can it be described?

I'll go and help the girls wash their hair. Bathe them with wisdom. Take in their perfect smiles, genuine giggles, crooked new adult teeth trying to squeeze into their child-size mouths, sparkly eyes... pint-size perfection.

I'll hear the normal I've been observing for months. And, then... there will be something new. Something new that will soon turn into the normal. Then the normal will turn into a memory. A memory of how they used to talk. And play. And interact with me.

And Friday night will never be the "same" again.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Spring Baseball 2011

So glad I took my camera to Asher's baseball game last night. It was his team's first win of the season. All the boys played hard and worked together for victory!

Asher earned two runs and even took a ball in the back for the team. Ouch! Great game, Bubs!
Playing second base




Sliding into Home

Getting advice from Daddy


Ouch!

Heading to Home


Safe!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Age Difference

Lilli: "Mama, how old was Daddy when you got married?"

Me: "Daddy was eighteen when we got married."

Lilli: "He was a teenager?"

Me: "Yes."

Lilli: "And, how old were you when you married Daddy?"

Me: "I was twenty-two."

Lilli: "Mama, why didn't you wait until Daddy was twenty-two?"

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

At the Barre

This is the second year the girls have taken ballet. They really wanted to skip ballet today and jump on the neighbor's trampoline. Every time they complain about "having to go to ballet" they owe me a dollar... so, the complaining is minimal. 

They move with such grace in their class. I giggled today as Eden copied everything Ms. Rebecca said while they were at the barre. She has obviously memorized their routine and I found it hilarious. I was impressed she didn't miss a position...

The girls were practicing today for their upcoming stage performance in May. They really shine under the leadership of Ms. Rebecca!





Lil listens to Ms. Rebecca


Stella, Lilli, and Eden at the barre.


Love the light on Lilli's face...

Caught Eden with her hands down her skirt...