Our family is going on their first-ever cruise in a few weeks. Being responsible for four people's packing, I have already started thinking about what we have and what we might need for the trip. I wanted to make sure the girls' swimsuits fit and asked Eden to go try her Speedo on to make sure it fit.
Eden: "Why do I have to see if it fits? It fit me this summer."
Me: "Well, it's been a few months and you've grown. I just need to make sure it fits."
Eden: "Mom! My legs grow longer but my body stays the same."
She could be correct in her observation but I still need to know for packing purposes!
Lilli came home excited last week because she would be representing her class in the school Spelling Bee. Yesterday, she came home in tears realizing the Spelling Bee was on a day we would be on the cruise. When I told her there was nothing we could do, she kept crying about it. When I offered that she could stay home with Oma so she wouldn't miss the Spelling Bee, she decided she could try again next year.
Good choice.
Asher made the honor roll his first nine weeks of middle school. This was wonderful news to me. He was given full responsibility and he didn't disappoint in his performance. He made 6 B's and 2 A's. One B was in Creative Writing. Therefore, I accepted his grade as subjective and told him "good job." His other B was in Pre-AP English. At the mid-point of the nine weeks, he had almost a perfect grade. His B was the result of slacking on his reading goal and not completely meeting it.
As a result of his missing his goal, I let him know right away he must meet his reading goal for this nine weeks. No exceptions. And, the final date for testing on his 6th book falls on a cruise date. So, he has to have all six books read before leaving for the cruise. No exceptions.
Asher is a problem-solver. And, quite clever. He finished two books in the first three weeks through diligence. In the middle of the fourth week, he came home and marked three more books off of his list. I was curious.
I asked him how he had finished three books so quickly. He looked at me sheepishly and didn't want to divulge his secret. I made him.
Asher: "I tested on three Captain Underpants books."
Me: "Those were on the reading list? ....... Well, you get 100% for ingenuity and 20% for academics. You're a stinker."
I guess there's more than one way...
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
The Blessings of Failure
D has been out of town for almost a week. He desperately misses me and the kids when he travels and likes to have frequent family conversations with all of us while on speaker phone. He enjoys asking the girls about their day and telling them good night. He likes to talk to Asher about school, current interests, etc. He doesn't want to miss out on a single moment.
Yesterday, I told Asher "Daddy spent the day thinking about his twelve-year-old boy." Asher asked me, "Why?" I replied, "You are our only son. We have put a lot of time and effort into you and we think about who you are becoming... we wonder what kind of man you will be. Daddy loves you. He was thinking about how he has influenced you."
Dyron and I have been discussing our waning influence on Asher lately. We're young enough to remember adolescence. We know how friends influence. We also feel Asher's "formative years" are almost over...
As parents, D and I have put 100% into teaching our children values we feel will give them the best life. Most of our values come from the Bible. Many of our values come from the way we were raised. Some of our values come from our own life experiences.
At this point, we have decided it's time for Asher to take what he has been taught and use those skills to make his own decisions. We still have "house rules" he must follow but we can't hold his hand while at school, hanging out with his friends, etc.
In our public school system, we have an online service called Edline that reports students' grades. It is accessible by parents and students to check grades on quizzes, tests, projects, etc. Many parents use this system. I have never used it.
Every day when the kids get home from school, I ask them... "How was your day? Do you have any homework? Do you need to study for a quiz or a test?" This is my one reminder to them. So far, it has worked very well. My children make excellent grades.
When they have forgotten a homework assignment or an upcoming quiz/test and the result is less sleep (I don't let them stay up late to complete a homework assignment. I make them get up earlier than normal to complete it.) or an inferior grade (because of lack of study), they learn from their failure. I feel very strongly about this concept of personal responsibility. The expectations Dyron and I have set for our children result in excellence! If there is a missed homework assignment or low test score, an opportunity for learning exists. We ask our children what could they have done to avoid the bad result? The answer is always change their actions.
In realizing it was THEIR OWN MISTAKE, we are empowering our children! They learn THEY are in control of their own actions. THEY have the power to succeed. THEY ARE IN CONTROL of their own success or failure.
Asher and I made an agreement before he started middle school. I told him I would give him "free reign" in choosing his classes and he would be fully responsible for his homework, quizzes, tests, etc. I would only ask him once a day if he had any homework or an upcoming test. He was placed in all Pre-AP courses and moved up to Pre-Algebra after the school year began. He seems to have a minimal amount of homework compared with other classmates. (I've heard other parents talking about their child's homework load.) This made me want to "helicopter parent" and check Edline. However, I resisted.
I will see in a few hours if he has chosen success or failure.
Yesterday, I told Asher "Daddy spent the day thinking about his twelve-year-old boy." Asher asked me, "Why?" I replied, "You are our only son. We have put a lot of time and effort into you and we think about who you are becoming... we wonder what kind of man you will be. Daddy loves you. He was thinking about how he has influenced you."
Dyron and I have been discussing our waning influence on Asher lately. We're young enough to remember adolescence. We know how friends influence. We also feel Asher's "formative years" are almost over...
As parents, D and I have put 100% into teaching our children values we feel will give them the best life. Most of our values come from the Bible. Many of our values come from the way we were raised. Some of our values come from our own life experiences.
At this point, we have decided it's time for Asher to take what he has been taught and use those skills to make his own decisions. We still have "house rules" he must follow but we can't hold his hand while at school, hanging out with his friends, etc.
In our public school system, we have an online service called Edline that reports students' grades. It is accessible by parents and students to check grades on quizzes, tests, projects, etc. Many parents use this system. I have never used it.
Every day when the kids get home from school, I ask them... "How was your day? Do you have any homework? Do you need to study for a quiz or a test?" This is my one reminder to them. So far, it has worked very well. My children make excellent grades.
When they have forgotten a homework assignment or an upcoming quiz/test and the result is less sleep (I don't let them stay up late to complete a homework assignment. I make them get up earlier than normal to complete it.) or an inferior grade (because of lack of study), they learn from their failure. I feel very strongly about this concept of personal responsibility. The expectations Dyron and I have set for our children result in excellence! If there is a missed homework assignment or low test score, an opportunity for learning exists. We ask our children what could they have done to avoid the bad result? The answer is always change their actions.
In realizing it was THEIR OWN MISTAKE, we are empowering our children! They learn THEY are in control of their own actions. THEY have the power to succeed. THEY ARE IN CONTROL of their own success or failure.
Asher and I made an agreement before he started middle school. I told him I would give him "free reign" in choosing his classes and he would be fully responsible for his homework, quizzes, tests, etc. I would only ask him once a day if he had any homework or an upcoming test. He was placed in all Pre-AP courses and moved up to Pre-Algebra after the school year began. He seems to have a minimal amount of homework compared with other classmates. (I've heard other parents talking about their child's homework load.) This made me want to "helicopter parent" and check Edline. However, I resisted.
I will see in a few hours if he has chosen success or failure.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
12
My firstborn and only son turns twelve today. Twelve! 12. A decade + 2. Last year of childhood. Almost a teenager.
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I prayed for a son. Having two sisters, I never experienced a brother. I was curious. I wanted to learn about boys through mothering one. I wanted to know everything about a little boy. Why were they so loud? What made them run so fast? Why did they turn sticks into guns? Why did they pull a girl's hair when they really liked her? Why did they burp and fart constantly, love to skip rocks, and have a warrior spirit? Where did they get their energy?
When Asher was born, he instantly picked up his head and looked around the room with eyes wide open. I marveled at his instant fascination with exploring his new world. He never seemed to want to sleep. He hated being restrained in his car seat. He cried when we put shoes on his feet. He was a ball of energy from the start... always demanding more and more of me.
He taught me to think and move faster while at the same time making me slow to anger.
I loved him at first sight.
He has always hated to hear the word "no." Now, I see him more completely. "No" is another restraint to him because he doesn't ask for much. When he is disciplined, he sometimes receives instruction with defiance... but I can't think of a time when he didn't return to me and apologize for his mistake.
As a boy, he was a ball of endless energy. As a young man, he is friendly, curious, smart, and full of potential.
D and I reflected on his life last night and then talked about his future. We found a quote we both loved...
"Adolescence is a new birth, for the higher and more completely human traits are now born." -G. Stanley Hall
What is coming? So many people warn of what is around the corner. Every phase has been challenging... isn't that the purpose of children? I really see it as another learning experience. And, isn't learning about refining our current set of beliefs? Learning is a deeper understanding of our purpose. Raising children has never been a bed of roses... it has been a winding path of beautiful views, unexpected "oops" switchbacks, and the occasional rest stop.
Son. I have loved watching and participating in your "so far" journey of life.
Just remember... "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -William Wallace
When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I prayed for a son. Having two sisters, I never experienced a brother. I was curious. I wanted to learn about boys through mothering one. I wanted to know everything about a little boy. Why were they so loud? What made them run so fast? Why did they turn sticks into guns? Why did they pull a girl's hair when they really liked her? Why did they burp and fart constantly, love to skip rocks, and have a warrior spirit? Where did they get their energy?
When Asher was born, he instantly picked up his head and looked around the room with eyes wide open. I marveled at his instant fascination with exploring his new world. He never seemed to want to sleep. He hated being restrained in his car seat. He cried when we put shoes on his feet. He was a ball of energy from the start... always demanding more and more of me.
He taught me to think and move faster while at the same time making me slow to anger.
I loved him at first sight.
He has always hated to hear the word "no." Now, I see him more completely. "No" is another restraint to him because he doesn't ask for much. When he is disciplined, he sometimes receives instruction with defiance... but I can't think of a time when he didn't return to me and apologize for his mistake.
As a boy, he was a ball of endless energy. As a young man, he is friendly, curious, smart, and full of potential.
D and I reflected on his life last night and then talked about his future. We found a quote we both loved...
"Adolescence is a new birth, for the higher and more completely human traits are now born." -G. Stanley Hall
What is coming? So many people warn of what is around the corner. Every phase has been challenging... isn't that the purpose of children? I really see it as another learning experience. And, isn't learning about refining our current set of beliefs? Learning is a deeper understanding of our purpose. Raising children has never been a bed of roses... it has been a winding path of beautiful views, unexpected "oops" switchbacks, and the occasional rest stop.
Son. I have loved watching and participating in your "so far" journey of life.
Just remember... "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." -William Wallace
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The Language of "Uh"
My girls have been speaking a new language for a few months. I first noticed their new vernacular this summer. Eden would become frustrated with something Lillian was doing and she would say, "Lilli! Stop-uh!"
Later in the day I might hear Lilli say, "Eden! Quit-uh!"
Many times the exchange between my two daughters would simply be the other sister's name. "Lilli-uh" or "Eden-uh" was heard in their conversation exchange several times a day.
Other "uh" words include:
1. Asher-uh
2. Don't-uh
3. Stupid-uh
Phrases include:
1. "I'm coming-uh."
2. "Be quiet-uh."
3. "It's not funny-uh."
4. "Leave me alone-uh."
I noticed the increased use of the "uh" ending correlated exactly with the volume of the speaker's voice which correlated with the intent of the speaker to get the person "named-uh" in major trouble.
Now, Daddy-uh and Mama-uh even join in the conversation now and then...
Good night-uh.
Later in the day I might hear Lilli say, "Eden! Quit-uh!"
Many times the exchange between my two daughters would simply be the other sister's name. "Lilli-uh" or "Eden-uh" was heard in their conversation exchange several times a day.
Other "uh" words include:
1. Asher-uh
2. Don't-uh
3. Stupid-uh
Phrases include:
1. "I'm coming-uh."
2. "Be quiet-uh."
3. "It's not funny-uh."
4. "Leave me alone-uh."
I noticed the increased use of the "uh" ending correlated exactly with the volume of the speaker's voice which correlated with the intent of the speaker to get the person "named-uh" in major trouble.
Now, Daddy-uh and Mama-uh even join in the conversation now and then...
Good night-uh.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Lost in Mid-Life
I'm standing in my kitchen making the kids quesadillas while wearing an apron and my eyes are opened to the meaning of "mid-life." It looms on the horizon for so long and then it suddenly appears right beside me. In the kitchen. Wearing an apron. Calling out spelling words to my kids.
Mid-life sneaks up behind me and grabs me by the ponytail. It pulls me to the floor and starts screaming in my face. Each word it shouts brings doubt. What have I accomplished with my life? What am I doing? Is this what it's all about?
Katy Perry sings "we'll be young forever." And, I know she's dead wrong.
(I wrote this last week... thought it was incomplete. Guess not. So, I'll publish it now.)
Mid-life sneaks up behind me and grabs me by the ponytail. It pulls me to the floor and starts screaming in my face. Each word it shouts brings doubt. What have I accomplished with my life? What am I doing? Is this what it's all about?
Katy Perry sings "we'll be young forever." And, I know she's dead wrong.
(I wrote this last week... thought it was incomplete. Guess not. So, I'll publish it now.)
Monday, August 22, 2011
Pickled Okra
Monday.
6:15 am. I push the snooze on my Iphone. 6:25 am. I'm up and head to the kitchen to start the coffee. Wake Asher up.
8:45 am. The kids are all in school. I head out for a 3-mile run. Wow. It's HOT!
9:20 am. Back home. Hit the shower. Eat my 10 o'clock banana. Start the first load of laundry. Read a few paragraphs in "The Road to Serfdom." Ponder government. Ponder the ignorant masses.
Schedule two family photo shoots. Load the dishwasher.
Make a little lunch. Read the opinion section and the editorials. Empty the dryer. Fold a load of laundry. Start another load.
Clean my closet. Start the ironing. Search Netflix. Watch a film (while ironing) about a Palestinian suicide bomber who spends a weekend with Israelis (because he has a faulty switch that doesn't detonate the bomb) and struggles with his mission. All in Arabic and Hebrew. (With English subtitles.)
Make chocolate chip cookies for the kids' after-school snack.
Greet the children. "How was your day?" Take Asher to get his haircut at Becky's. Girls get lost in the woods. (Slight panic on my part even though they were with the two brown Labradors that would lead them home...)
6:00 pm soccer meeting. Dyron volunteers to be Lilli's soccer coach in addition to Eden's coach...despite knowing very little about the game. (No one else is "stepping up.")
Get Eden's alternative "Sight Word" list from her first-grade teacher. This list includes "scientist", "language", "noun"...
Asher brings home his percussion set. He plays his new instruments for an hour. I love to hear him making music.
We eat at Razorback Pizza. The family is oblivious to the homeless woman snitching from the salad bar until I point her out. I decided to go offer her our extra pizza. Funny. She seems to prefer the pickled okra...
6:15 am. I push the snooze on my Iphone. 6:25 am. I'm up and head to the kitchen to start the coffee. Wake Asher up.
8:45 am. The kids are all in school. I head out for a 3-mile run. Wow. It's HOT!
9:20 am. Back home. Hit the shower. Eat my 10 o'clock banana. Start the first load of laundry. Read a few paragraphs in "The Road to Serfdom." Ponder government. Ponder the ignorant masses.
Schedule two family photo shoots. Load the dishwasher.
Make a little lunch. Read the opinion section and the editorials. Empty the dryer. Fold a load of laundry. Start another load.
Clean my closet. Start the ironing. Search Netflix. Watch a film (while ironing) about a Palestinian suicide bomber who spends a weekend with Israelis (because he has a faulty switch that doesn't detonate the bomb) and struggles with his mission. All in Arabic and Hebrew. (With English subtitles.)
Make chocolate chip cookies for the kids' after-school snack.
Greet the children. "How was your day?" Take Asher to get his haircut at Becky's. Girls get lost in the woods. (Slight panic on my part even though they were with the two brown Labradors that would lead them home...)
6:00 pm soccer meeting. Dyron volunteers to be Lilli's soccer coach in addition to Eden's coach...despite knowing very little about the game. (No one else is "stepping up.")
Get Eden's alternative "Sight Word" list from her first-grade teacher. This list includes "scientist", "language", "noun"...
Asher brings home his percussion set. He plays his new instruments for an hour. I love to hear him making music.
We eat at Razorback Pizza. The family is oblivious to the homeless woman snitching from the salad bar until I point her out. I decided to go offer her our extra pizza. Funny. She seems to prefer the pickled okra...
Friday, August 19, 2011
Raising a Gentleman
My only son is a young man. He will turn twelve in a few months. I can see his childhood cocoon starting to split as his wings of adulthood finish their growth and get ready for flight. I only hope I have given him the best nourishment of discipline, values, and love needed for strong wings to carry him safely on his journey. I pray he will continue to seek his Creator and his Savior when he needs guidance.
I know he will encounter turbulent winds. Thankfully, he will also experience soft breezes. I am forecasting plenty of adolescent storms in the next few years but hopefully with the proper preparation they can be weathered!
Asher started middle school this week. I didn't shed a tear when he started Kindergarten. (I think I was too busy with the other two babies at home!) I shed many tears last Monday. I also prayed many prayers. I love you, son.
I know he will encounter turbulent winds. Thankfully, he will also experience soft breezes. I am forecasting plenty of adolescent storms in the next few years but hopefully with the proper preparation they can be weathered!
Asher started middle school this week. I didn't shed a tear when he started Kindergarten. (I think I was too busy with the other two babies at home!) I shed many tears last Monday. I also prayed many prayers. I love you, son.
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